Why I'm Not Having a Baby Shower
Why I'm Not Having a Baby Shower
I, lover of all parties, am not having a baby shower. I know what you're thinking. What? You don't want to celebrate with your closest friends? I'm not the first one to say forget the baby shower.
First, I absolutely love baby showers. I love hosting and planning them, but being the guest of honor at my own does not sound like my idea of fun.
So why did I choose to skip my own shower as an expectant mother? Let me tell you, and before you judge, read until the end to find out how we're actually celebrating.
We’re Taking a Minimalist Approach
At the time when I was pregnant with my first child, we were renting. I knew we'd be moving in the next year and that we would be looking in the city. I'm was truly focused on getting us what we need in order to survive the first 6 months with baby.
I've seen friends go through this experience and register for multiple chairs (as an example) that are each a few hundred dollars only to find out the baby hates all of them. I don't want that. The thought of it actually stresses me out.
Buying gently used baby items after the baby arrived was actually a great approach. We were able to get the new things we wanted, when we needed them.
We did not have a ton of room in our condo. I didn't want the pressure of becoming an organizing queen or dragging things in and out of storage. I knew if we needed it, we'd buy it.
Also, close family still bought something special for the new baby. We were able to share our good news with them and celebrate on an individual basis, which felt more meaningful to me than being the centre of attention.
We were really mindful of buying the baby gear we absolutely needed (like car seats) and focusing on some of the more fun parts of the job. Baby names!
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I Don’t Want a Traditional Shower
Yes, some days I feel beautiful, but other days were full of bloating or discomfort. The thought of having to find a cute dress does not sound like fun. My friends have told me I can wear whatever I like.
I have cute everyday clothes from my pregnancy capsule wardrobe, but if I were to have a shower, I'd want to dress for it. Plus, the photos. So many photos. Trying to look and feel good in a bunch of photos while I'm up 20 pounds is not my idea of fun. Nor do I want to be the center of attention or have a million people rubbing my belly.
Honestly, it felt like too much pressure. Five years later, I'm still happy I skipped my baby shower for my first baby, a virtual baby shower for my pandemic baby and the full blown baby sprinkle.
I ultimately had a very small baby sprinkle with a handful of close friends to introduce my second son and it was great! I felt like I planned my own baby shower.
More Casual Celebrations are in My Comfort Zone
Showers in nature are more formal get-togethers. They're about you & the baby, but also the host and their set of friends or family members (say, mom, for example). It's hard to keep a guest list tight with a shower. You don't want to offend anyone or have anyone feel left out.
Knowing that, I know if we had a shower, it would get big quickly. We'd either have multiple showers with 20-30 people or a giant shower with 60+ people, which, frankly, sounds miserable. Matt & I love quality interactions with people. It's nearly impossible to do that if you have such a large group, which is another reason why we won't be having a baby shower.
I wanted to have a good time with my closest female friends, not a lot of women that I don't know very well. The most important thing to me is to celebrate the baby not me, and a shower really felt like celebrating me.
I Want to Celebrate the Baby, Not the Pregnancy
Everyone has told me - the shower is about the baby because all of the gifts are about the baby. However, the baby isn't here yet. Sure, you can feel some kicks from time to time, but it's not the same.
My good friend, Liz, found some amazing baby shower alternatives to celebrate. Relatively last minute, she planned a fun celebration at The Happy Place in Chicago with my closest friends. It was such a special event because we took photos, laughed and had lunch after.
For me, it was a great option since the idea of a baby shower felt so overwhelming. It was also a great way to take really fun photos, but be less focused on party plans.
We also celebrated our first child with a simple sip & see at my parents house. Have you heard of this magical concept yet? A sip & see is a casual get-together after the baby arrives.
Guests can bring a gift if they choose but it's not mandatory (like a shower). Did I mention it's casual and they get to meet the baby? I've thought of so many fun themes, which I can't wait to share with you in the upcoming weeks!
Ultimately, baby showers aren't for everyone. Yes, you'll have to buy all the stuff, but hey, maybe you'll buy what you need. On the contrary, if you want a baby shower, go for it! Even though I'm not having a baby shower, I fully support others having a baby shower. I'd actually love to plan yours! I recently planned 'A Whole Llama Love' and had so much fun with it!
Will I Regret Not Having A Baby Shower?
Now that I’ve had a baby, I can tell you I am so happy I did not have a baby shower. I celebrated with friends for a baby announcement and then was able to focus on preparing for baby. My registry was minimal and I had a small non-traditional baby shower with friends.
If you want to celebrate being pregnant, I would recommend a traditional baby shower. If you feel like you’ll be missing out, then maybe have a small shower. However, I can tell you five years after skipping it, I’m still glad I did. Once the baby is born, you can always have a sip & see. I did that with my first and second born and it was so much more fun!
5 years later, I don’t regret not having a baby shower
Nope! Five years after I had my baby, I'm still happy that I did not have a shower. The main reason still holds true for me. I didn't want too many things with potential guests that I'm not even that close to. With my second, I wanted to have a bigger sprinkle, and honestly, would have loved to.
However, it was during the pandemic, so it was a difficult time. It was too hard to keep it small and not have a lot of people, so we waited until our new arrival came. Then, Omicron surged and I gave up! Instead, I hosted some of my good friends for a little sip & see to come meet the baby.
Choosing not to have a traditional baby shower during pregnancy means that you can engage in alternative meaningful celebrations. Not having a baby shower doesn't mean missing out on celebrating the arrival of your new addition to your family. The perfect way to remember this special time is prioritizing your comfort and well-being.
If you have a lot of couple friends, a co-ed shower or a hybrid baby shower can be a great idea. Usually women attend traditional baby showers, but lately a more relaxed and co-ed vibe is becoming popular. Inviting both women and men means that no immediate family member will be left out, and allows both parents to share in the joy and excitement of the celebration.
Sometimes an in-person gathering just isn't going to work, like if the expectant mother is on bed rest. Some great alternative celebrations are a meal train or a virtual gathering. You can still play baby shower games, send heartfelt messages, and gift items from the baby registry at a virtual baby shower.
If you're looking for a more spiritual and supportive event, a mother blessing can be a beautiful and symbolic celebration. This is usually an intimate gathering where guests share words of encouragement, blessings, and positive energy with the mom-to-be as she gets ready to start her journey with this precious new life.
Ultimately, there are plenty of ways to celebrate the exciting arrival of a baby without a traditional baby shower. Whether it's through a drive-through celebration, a co-ed gathering, or a virtual event, the key is to find a type of shower that you're comfortable with and will help you remember this special time in your life.
I hope these helpful tips help you decide what you'd like to do as a new mom!
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Hi, I’m Jen!
Hi, I’m Jen, your perpetually optimistic, fun-loving, witty friend. When I’m not working at The Marketing Greenhouse, you can find me gardening in the sun, playing games with my kids or creating content that inspires people to try new things and be the best version of themselves.
